Sunday, September 27, 2015

Making Yourself Your Priority

    Recently, it has become apparent in my life that people around me are too preoccupied with what others want, and not genuinely concerned about the one person that truly matters...themselves.

    In a relationship, you cannot expect someone else to make you happy. That is not the function of a significant other, a best friend, or any relationship you form. The one person who knows exactly what to do to make you happy is you. You are the expert on you. Because of this, you need to pay attention to what you want in everything you do. You cannot control the situations you encounter, but you control the manner in which you respond to them.

    I have a friend who inspired me to post this. She is struggling with a dilemma involving her future with a guy who works with her; her dilemma being that she does not see a future with him. I have listened to her fuss over hurting this guy's feelings for about a week now, and she decided today to be up front and tell him that she doesn't see a future with him. When she was leaving, she was antsy and nervous, more worried about how he is going to feel than how she has been feeling for the last week. So I reminded her that her first priority is making herself happy, and I said to her what I quoted above, "You are not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own. You should be making yourself happy. And he should be making himself happy. And if it works out, then you can both make yourselves happy, together."

    My friend didn't even realize how selfless she was being, honestly. And although there is a selfless aspect to a relationship, but there is also a selfish aspect. You are allowed to be selfish when it comes to who you choose to spend your time with and develop a relationship with. If you aren't happy with something in your relationship, you have to communicate it to grow from it. And although doing this may hurt someone else now, it is kinder than forcing yourself to stay somewhere you feel less than completely comfortable. You deserve to be happy and respected and comfortable.

    Listen to yourself, and realize that discomfort is a sign that there is an issue.

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